Ah. Kpop. Such a guilty pleasure.

Back in high school, I always thought people who liked kpop were creepy. It all felt really cringe to me. I’ve become a hypocrite.

Kpop seems so immoral. Yet it’s so attractive.

When Kant said that you shouldn’t treat someone merely as a means, he probably had kpop in mind. These artists are treated like products. The companies squeeze every bit of profit out of them in every way possible through concerts, merchandise, fan meetings, livestreams, and endless content. But hey, don’t all companies do this in this capitalist world?

There’s more to it though. Kpop seems to capitalize on something very human: our natural tendency to like people. I don’t even want to call it love, but they capitalize on people’s ability to develop affection. You know the secret, huge crush that you had when you were in elementary school? Now magnify that intensity by 10x. That’s basically a kpop idol.

And it’s not just attraction either. In Chinese, there’s a term called “养成系,” where you basically watch idols grow up. You see a little girl or boy go from being an unknown trainee to one of the most famous people on the planet. After following them for years, you develop this strange sense of pride, almost like you were there for the whole journey.

The companies carefully control the side that you see. Through TikToks, vlogs, livestreams, and concerts, the idols always seem perfect. They never really let you down. Unlike the crush you had in elementary school, they’ll probably never reject you, stop talking to you, or break your heart. The relationship feels safe.

And honestly, I think that safety is a huge part of the appeal.

The weird thing is that part of the attraction comes from knowing that you will never actually date them. On the surface, this sounds discouraging. Why would you emotionally invest in someone you could never be with? But in this day and age, real relationships are terrifying. Asking people out is terrifying. Rejection is terrifying. There are so many ways for things to go wrong.

So instead, people turn to something safer. You hide behind a screen. They keep you company through videos, music, livestreams, and concerts. You get feelings of companionship and emotional attachment without the risks that come with real intimacy.

It’s kind of like the pinnacle of a fast food relationship. People don’t want to put in the work, face rejection, or deal with vulnerability, but they still want the emotional pleasures that come from relationships. The companionship. In some ways, it’s kind of like porn. Not because they are literally the same thing, but because both offer emotionally satisfying substitutes without the risks of reality.

So why do I still like this problematic culture?

Lowkey, I don’t fully know.

Part of me wonders whether this is just one of those contradictions within ordinary human life. Kpop may commodify people and emotional attachment, but at the same time, the actual harm feels relatively small. The idols choose this career. The fans choose to participate. Nobody is really being forced into anything.

And honestly, should we really expect ourselves to live like saints all the time?

Ideals always sound perfect on paper. But real life is messy. People are selfish. People are tired. Sometimes after a long day, watching videos of girls dancing and singing simply makes life feel a little better. Maybe there is something deeply human about knowingly participating in imperfect things anyway. Maybe that’s an excuse. I really don’t know.